There is definitely a great diversity of cultures present in our food, schools and work, many of which need some time to adapt to. An example that can illustrate this can be seen from my mother’s experiences at her new workplace.
My mother is currently working at a shipping company with many international expatriates. She recalls one Norwegian international in his late fifties called Olaf who stands out in my mother’s memory due to his boisterous and fatherly nature. He works on the same floor as my mother but in separate departments; however, on my mother’s second day, he took the trouble to approach my mother personally at her desk to say hello and introduce himself. He also always smiles and greets my mother by name when he sees her.
Another incident that illustrates Olaf’s thoughtfulness happened when my mother was zapping documents at the office’s photocopying machine. Olaf had sent documents for printing to the machine and was queuing behind my mother. Afraid that my mother would get a shock or bump into him when she turned around, Olaf pre-empted her by placing his hands on her shoulders gently but firmly and warmly greeting her by name.
I found my mother’s re-enactments of her experiences at work extremely amusing at first, but realized they would not seem strange at all to people of the same culture after sitting through the ES2007S class on intercultural communication. Such practices might not be acceptable to all Singaporeans too; we are obviously less friendly to new acquaintances and might shirk away from the close contact Olaf exhibited. Perhaps Olaf and his other countrymen measure their personal space differently and are more open than us; that is definitely something we can learn from.
Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteMy brother currently works in a Norwegian company and I noticed he speaks in a more friendly tone on the phone with Norwegian colleagues and clients. I initially thought it was another person speaking. Haha.
Your mother was receptive and open-minded enough to understand that Olaf's actions was a result of his culture. I am not sure whether she would have reacted the same way if a local male placed his hands on her.
I am not speaking for the majority of Singaporean males, but I think I'd be afraid of getting sued for sexual harassment if I were to casually place my hands on women in the office. Haha.
Hey Amanda and Ikhsan,
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you both have said especially the part on getting sued for sexual harassment. Indeed, Westerners are more open-minded compared to Asians. Simple things such as putting hands around the shoulder of mere acquaintance is a big no-no for the majority of Singaporean girls. However, to the Westerners, it is something trivial. Also, they are considered more outspoken and friendly than some of the Singaporeans. So do not be surprise, if a stranger suddenly strike a conversation with you while you are walking on the streets.
As such, it would be better for us to be more open minded when we are speaking to our friends from the West. BUT STILL,(sidetrack a litle) girls must learn how to protect themselves and not get taken advantage of.
Hey Amanda!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this interesting post. Well I guess your mum must have felt welcomed in her new workplace. It is really thoughtful of him to show his kind gestures to strangers.
Indeed Westerners are much friendlier. I know of one exchange student from New Zealand in a welcome tea. She was quite surprise to find out that strangers who are standing close to each other do not greet or talk and she asked me if it is a norm here. And I think everyone should know what my reply was – ‘Yes!’.
I don’t think it is unacceptable to Singaporeans, instead it should be uncommon and uncomfortable to behave in that friendly and open manner. But I agree that it is something we can learn to break the seemingly ‘indifferent’ attitude.
I agree with Cai Jie’s last point on girls needing to know how to protect themselves. There is a fine line to draw between being open-minded and being self-respecting. In learning how to be more expressive doesn’t mean we do away with self-control. =)
Hey Amanda,
ReplyDeleteIf only we could exprience such friendliness in Singapore! Singaporeans especially treasure thier personal space so I do not think many of us would be initially very receptive to Olaf's actions.
And I kinda disagree with you guys regarding the whole issue of sexual harassment. I'm not saying I condone disrepectful behaviour but this is exactly the kind of mindset Singaporeans have that becomes a barrier to effective communication with people like Olaf!
Singaporeans have a habit of questioning the intentions of others and being suspicious too quickly when it comes to such situations. Understandably, it is not in our culture but I feel we could learn to be more loving human beings like Olaf and his fellow Norwegians! =]
@Zabir
ReplyDeleteHaha. I think Cai Jie and Vee Nee are more concerned if the person went over the line, being too "friendly". Hypothetically speaking, the action of a man gently tapping a lady's bum as a form of greeting might be going too far. Hehe.
I probably was being dramatic by saying such actions could lead to sexual harassment. I do agree with you that simple physical interactions with the opposite sex does not fall into this category.